tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56913881863079583262011-11-13T06:44:22.391-05:00Humorous and/or inspirational stories that have come this way. Great for use by speakers, teachers, preachers, writers and others.Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.comBlogger1571100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-78287913871426893352009-10-11T08:23:00.000-04:002009-10-11T08:23:25.160-04:00

It's about time; it really is!  Except it's actually about the lack of time. For over a year, I have maintained three blogs.  Lately two of them have gone lacking, including this one.  For a while at least, I'll do all of my posting on one site, EX Marks the Spot.  This one is not closing down forever (as far as I know at  this point.) Hope you'll visit EX Marks the Spot for a mixture of

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-35422831269521590912009-09-27T08:29:00.000-04:002009-09-27T08:29:27.321-04:00

Thanks to Tony for sharing the following:

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-78576442526234362322009-09-14T12:23:00.000-04:002009-09-14T12:23:10.058-04:00

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once month. The lady goes to the drug

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-43352556763761304292009-08-27T09:05:00.003-04:002009-08-27T09:13:28.683-04:00

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said,'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-79149914105747639792009-08-21T08:58:00.003-04:002009-08-21T09:18:40.172-04:00

A guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blond woman's boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the guy calls for another beer this happens. So after his third beer, he decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-26184017838532022462009-08-20T11:09:00.002-04:002009-08-20T11:16:07.202-04:00

During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to ayoung mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during thedescent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly aspossible.The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantlyoffered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.When the young mother expressed her

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-70181579513842864932009-08-17T13:30:00.004-04:002009-08-18T21:09:21.056-04:00

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull.But that's not the worst of it.My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-68943508056333495232009-08-14T17:52:00.003-04:002009-08-14T18:01:21.817-04:00

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania ..They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway.. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-42902021590278233982009-07-30T12:33:00.004-04:002009-07-30T12:42:14.457-04:00

The following were forwarded to me as real notes written by parents in the (xxx) school district.Spellings have been left intact. (There are a few words I wouldn't have used on a post but these are exactly as received.)1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. 2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.. 3. Dear school: please

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-24341136027954098402009-07-26T20:47:00.003-04:002009-07-26T20:56:06.332-04:00

The Bus RideTwo bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend trip.The brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the blonde team rode on the top level. The brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the blondes upstairs.She decided to go up and

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-77361922414054841942009-07-26T18:13:00.001-04:002009-07-26T18:13:10.633-04:00

Best. Wedding Entrance. Ever.Shared via AddThis

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-15719073062310374132009-07-21T23:10:00.002-04:002009-07-21T23:15:56.272-04:00

A farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door."Is your Dad home?" the rancher asked."No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town.""Well," said the rancher, "Is your Mother here?""No sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad.""How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?""No sir, he went with Mom

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-54476470366294240802009-07-12T21:13:00.003-04:002009-07-12T21:23:38.139-04:00

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The receptionist said, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" He replied, "There's something wrong with my penis." The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you." The receptionist

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-72785676878715959872009-07-08T18:50:00.003-04:002009-07-08T18:58:50.156-04:00

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-35657889104962956732009-07-05T14:52:00.003-04:002009-07-05T14:57:20.999-04:00

Sam was telling his friend that he and his wife had a serious argument the night before. "But it ended," he said, "when she came crawling to me on her hands and knees." "What did she say?" asked his friend. Sam replied, "She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you coward!'"

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-573822810172844872009-06-20T16:36:00.004-04:002009-06-20T16:44:59.727-04:00

I had read this before; perhaps you have also. I received it this week from Jane and from Diane and, since it's so funny, decided to post it.----------------A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-62434901144588923432009-06-13T14:03:00.004-04:002009-06-13T14:14:14.913-04:00

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. 'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-20016187302190932922009-06-03T02:25:00.002-04:002009-06-03T02:29:17.048-04:00

Unique ad on this plumber's truck, don't you think?This picture was sent by a friend but I can't remember which one. Sorry. To see other Wordless Wednesday participants, click here.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-81644174149906228952009-06-02T11:13:00.004-04:002009-06-02T11:24:55.612-04:00

Mike was attending his 4X4 club's monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn't make the upcoming camping trip because his wife wouldn't let him go.After listening to the jeers and other derisive remarks from his fellow 4X4 friends, Mike left to go back home to his wife.When Mike's friends started arriving to set up camp the following week, who should be there but Mike sitting up in front of

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-61700237918743187462009-05-26T11:29:00.002-04:002009-05-26T11:36:21.070-04:00

The first testicular guard (i.e., "Cup") was used in hockey in 1874. The first helmet was used in 1974.So... it took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important!* * * * * * *Thanks to Joyce for sharing this!

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-37338402518188764812009-05-23T19:59:00.003-04:002009-05-23T20:06:23.256-04:00

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past six months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is. The following day, the wife goes to the doctor's office. The doctor asks her what's wrong, why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband? "Oh, that's easily explained.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-60253255241799376072009-05-20T18:57:00.004-04:002009-05-20T19:05:23.960-04:00

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.The first surgeon, from New York, says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'The second, from Chicago, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded.'The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, 'No, I

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-31447390771608442952009-05-14T08:14:00.002-04:002009-05-14T08:17:05.106-04:00

In Case You Can't Find a Surgical Mask to Fight Swine Flu Thanks to Helen for sharing this.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-90552741361598380732009-05-07T17:37:00.003-04:002009-05-07T17:43:36.070-04:00

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive.""How much?" asked Grandpa."$10.00 a pill," answered the son."I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-3104650985193507992009-05-06T09:50:00.002-04:002009-05-06T09:53:31.005-04:00

A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself.Man: 'May I buy you a cocktail?' Maxine: 'No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs.Man: 'Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?'Maxine: 'No, they spread.'* * * * * * *Thanks to Tony for sharing this.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-78826695155061438262009-05-05T10:56:00.003-04:002009-05-05T11:03:22.843-04:00

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-81662861739282226742009-05-01T09:10:00.004-04:002009-05-01T09:28:34.947-04:00

A cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he hasbreathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an oldbriefcase. He opens it and out pops

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-56219832833454422642009-04-22T09:29:00.002-04:002009-04-22T09:32:22.741-04:00

Finally, I've learned the proper way to weigh myself:I've been doing it wrong all these years!** * * **Thanks to Margaret for sharing this!

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-63720000901044746752009-04-13T15:19:00.002-04:002009-04-13T15:26:08.059-04:00

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Female customer: A white one...==========Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.Customer: No...wait a minute.I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk...sorry...==========Tech

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-87937132798544883572009-04-11T13:44:00.002-04:002009-04-11T13:50:43.465-04:00

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-68261461735116550632009-04-08T10:23:00.004-04:002009-04-08T10:32:22.097-04:00

(For Wordless Wednesday, I'm sharing computer cartoons which were sent to me.) For more Wordless Wednesday participants, click here.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-32213684119654626762009-03-28T11:54:00.005-04:002009-03-28T12:21:16.437-04:00

9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?2. People who are willing to get off their rear ends to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3. When people say

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-58975092786721037652009-03-25T00:07:00.000-04:002009-03-25T00:08:49.743-04:00

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-2466156729937038952009-03-19T09:44:00.004-04:002009-03-19T09:51:12.373-04:00

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.Arriving home around noon one

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-33841355161229146462009-03-17T11:09:00.003-04:002009-03-17T11:14:03.376-04:00

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.The drunk mumbles, 'Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-4131305063609147012009-03-17T11:07:00.002-04:002009-03-17T11:08:46.112-04:00

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary, my dear?'She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'She says, 'That he did, Father.'The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'She says, '

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-46239621132502440102009-03-15T14:49:00.005-04:002009-03-15T15:13:44.048-04:00

(To celebrate St. Patrick's Day, I'll post several Irish jokes over the next 2 or 3 days.) Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-89865720419284918262009-03-13T21:37:00.004-04:002009-03-14T10:27:41.523-04:00

The theme for this week's PhotoHunt is FOUR.This cartoon has FOUR panels. It's one all parents ought to appreciate! (Double click to enlarge if needed to read it.)Thanks to Jane for sharing this.Click to see others who participate in Photo Hunt.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-86391565419625191772009-03-12T09:45:00.002-04:002009-03-12T09:52:19.547-04:00

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-7547409133010824672009-03-10T14:26:00.003-04:002009-03-10T14:39:42.624-04:00

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband.The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-80095602364733881682009-03-09T05:34:00.003-04:002009-03-09T05:43:29.504-04:00

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?'The poor little guy starts crying. 'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't think you'd CRY. I

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-53117756393368725152009-03-08T00:07:00.002-05:002009-03-08T00:14:19.485-05:00

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So, I went to a shrink and told him, 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.''Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..''How much do

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-16146707053126471762009-03-07T11:55:00.004-05:002009-03-09T05:31:34.963-04:00

Well, I've just posted one about eggs, so why not another one? This particular item has been e-mailed by several different people, so I thought I'd just as well share it.It's called the Octuplet Special or the Suleman Breakfast:You get eight eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill..

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-81517681487206888002009-03-05T15:12:00.002-05:002009-03-05T15:19:17.151-05:00

The couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. 'Sounds good,' the wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.''Then, I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' the wife asked incredulously. 'YES!!

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-69616651119586793292009-03-03T10:22:00.003-05:002009-03-03T10:27:41.483-05:00

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-77078468581591337552009-03-02T11:13:00.002-05:002009-03-02T11:16:45.134-05:00

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman."Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied."Darn, he recognized me," she thought.She went for a complete disguise this time;

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-17855548246078540222009-03-01T21:49:00.003-05:002009-03-01T21:56:14.006-05:00

In a small Texas town, the owner of Drummond's Bar began construction on a new building to increase his business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-49729685038266382132009-02-28T04:06:00.003-05:002009-02-28T04:14:59.265-05:00

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise and thanksgiving for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the front. She said, "I do. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-38234800050653451722009-02-26T11:47:00.002-05:002009-02-26T12:23:07.160-05:00

Vocabulary Word for the Day LIQUIDITYDefinition: Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants!Thanks to Dee for sharing this.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-32733117890075476542009-02-25T01:09:00.002-05:002009-02-25T01:10:51.346-05:00

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-81033735234991538522009-02-23T11:41:00.007-05:002009-02-23T11:55:39.589-05:00

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.'Come now,' coaxed the doctor,'you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me.''This one's kind of strange,' she said.'Let me be the judge of that,' the doctor replied.'Well,' she said, 'yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-45457803081205916832009-02-21T14:37:00.001-05:002009-02-21T14:39:15.467-05:00

Thanks to Helen for passing this along!

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-50108840131059093242009-02-20T16:24:00.003-05:002009-02-20T16:32:01.094-05:00

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?''Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.''Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-73585259498490200632009-02-19T10:33:00.004-05:002009-02-19T10:41:32.052-05:00

The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday school every week. On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-92079321094413144902009-02-17T23:05:00.002-05:002009-02-18T12:04:31.601-05:00

Visit my other two blogs for different kinds of wordlessness today:http://www.lipstickelection.blogspot.comhttp://www.blondesherry.blogspot.com

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-25968192945045468372009-02-17T12:24:00.003-05:002009-02-17T12:29:36.030-05:00

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Golden Retriever pup had fresh air.She was stretched out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, 'Now you stay, hear me? Stay, Stay."The driver of a

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-12085069816321070942009-02-16T11:31:00.003-05:002009-02-16T11:39:34.004-05:00

On the outskirts of a small town there was a big old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.One day, two boys filled up a bucket with nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,' said one boy.Several pecans dropped and rolled down toward the fence.Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed,

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-78362145223842693482009-02-13T05:04:00.001-05:002009-02-13T05:11:26.533-05:00

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.The 80-year-old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-54323157980795324762009-02-10T12:17:00.002-05:002009-02-10T12:23:25.876-05:00

An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day. He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey.He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-52815774561494151912009-02-08T23:21:00.004-05:002009-02-08T23:27:25.853-05:00

Trying to control her dry hair, a woman treated her scalp with olive oil before washing it.Worried that the oil might leave an odor, she washed her hair several times.That night when she went to bed, she leaned over to her husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?""No," he said, sniffing her. "Do I smell like Popeye?"(Thanks to Tony for this one.)

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-45295672670783106052009-02-05T19:19:00.004-05:002009-02-05T20:04:17.833-05:00

(Thanks to Marty for sharing this one.)I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.One is engaged, one is a mistress, and, of course, I have been married for 20+ years.We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.My engaged

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-31728469957943951432009-02-03T17:35:00.002-05:002009-02-03T17:42:17.755-05:00

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.They argued back and forth until they finally stopped for lunch.As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are.. very slowly?"The blonde

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-50288072690974955532009-01-28T16:08:00.004-05:002009-01-28T16:15:06.223-05:00

Two robins were sitting in a tree."I'm really hungry," said the first one."Me too," said the second one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms.They ate and ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more."I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the one."Me either." said the second. "Let's just lie

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-41493194704338389392009-01-27T17:02:00.003-05:002009-01-27T17:09:17.254-05:00

(Thanks to Tony for sharing this one.)I was confused when I heard these terms with reference to the word "service":Internal Revenue "Service"U.S. Postal "Service"Telephone "Service"Cable "Service"Civil "Service"Customer "Service"State, City, & County Public "Service"Government "Service"This is not what I thought "service" meant.But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-11405085944014229852009-01-24T12:36:00.007-05:002009-01-24T12:50:20.572-05:00

Primary School Children Writing About The Sea1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6) 3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.(Wayne age 7) 4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-24883243013847481332009-01-20T11:05:00.001-05:002009-01-20T11:08:41.050-05:00

(Thanks to Julie MacKay Cox for this.) An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong.'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-4364710787989598522009-01-18T17:53:00.002-05:002009-01-18T17:58:40.845-05:00

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my grandpa!' The cop asked, 'What's he like?' The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied, 'Crown Royal whiskey and women with big boobs.'

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-9186979739083357382009-01-13T12:08:00.004-05:002009-01-13T12:27:15.394-05:00

(Thanks to Gene and Lillian for sharing this!)There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-32933957471838068172009-01-12T12:41:00.003-05:002009-01-12T12:46:52.056-05:00

(Thanks to Dee for sharing this one! She and I are both blondes.)A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says: "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."After a

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-16211991727621953112009-01-09T01:30:00.003-05:002009-01-09T01:37:33.617-05:00

This is the story of two woodpeckers. I received it from Catherine, from Tony and from someone who said not to mention her if I used this! That means it's got to be good!Two Woodpeckers..........A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees.The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.The

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-57047649954784145702009-01-07T21:48:00.003-05:002009-01-07T21:56:17.072-05:00

Thanks to Tony for sharing these.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-88206190572547539072009-01-06T11:13:00.004-05:002009-01-06T11:21:46.665-05:00

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word.1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund; which lasts until you realize

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-56293887539680245332009-01-04T22:22:00.002-05:002009-01-04T22:26:50.639-05:00

A nice, calm and respectable lady went intothe pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist,looked straight into his eyes and said, "Iwould like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world doyou need cyanide?"The lady replied, "I need it to poison myhusband."The pharmacist's eyes got big and heexclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't giveyou cyanide to kill your husband. That'sagainst the

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-75483085645202837782009-01-03T10:51:00.004-05:002009-01-03T10:59:35.640-05:00

Right in the midst of bowl season, football is finally explained, thanks to this from Sharon Sessler:A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. 'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-85713841120105344162009-01-01T15:45:00.003-05:002009-01-01T15:53:50.967-05:00

NINE WORDS/PHRASES WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-53944532885391255712008-12-30T17:53:00.002-05:002008-12-30T18:00:28.228-05:00

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!''Nonsense,' the doctor said'.'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.''It isn't possible,' the man

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-53285695481860690782008-12-27T17:55:00.001-05:002008-12-27T18:00:37.261-05:00

A guy is out with his buddies. He has a few drinks, and gets in the mood for some loving.But true to his wife, he goes home.When he gets home he finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouthwide open. He gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth.Of course, she awakens choking, but she quickly recovers and asks,"What did you put in my mouth???"He says, "Two aspirin".She replies, "BUT I DON'T

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-91946888499216518152008-12-23T09:56:00.003-05:002008-12-23T10:13:07.657-05:00

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy!I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck', and I starting jumping up and down along with her.She said, 'I have some really great news!'I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-59120316668357030592008-12-19T11:00:00.003-05:002008-12-19T11:20:57.815-05:00

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new sports convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left under his hat."Amazing" he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-52914027913614057092008-12-16T23:50:00.002-05:002008-12-16T23:55:23.683-05:00

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-80402886288051629832008-12-16T15:35:00.002-05:002008-12-16T15:41:59.737-05:00

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. .'2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warsh in' machines!'1st Hillbilly says: 'Why is that so stupid?' 2nd

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-49325627159228430772008-12-14T08:55:00.002-05:002008-12-14T09:04:36.797-05:00

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido."What about tryin' Viagra?" asked the doctor."Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin.""Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-66843674815009286662008-12-12T15:21:00.004-05:002008-12-12T15:39:56.526-05:00

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" ---------------------------------------------------- LOUD SEX A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-45542883103398697052008-12-09T09:42:00.004-05:002008-12-09T09:54:46.901-05:00

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.__________________________________________TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'GLENN:

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-73912367004899125752008-12-06T09:30:00.003-05:002008-12-06T09:42:12.142-05:00

It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced: "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-25271307887324916852008-12-04T22:14:00.004-05:002008-12-04T22:27:59.552-05:00

Why, Why, Why?Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficiet funds when they already know there is not enough money?Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-74571969637459459592008-12-03T19:59:00.002-05:002008-12-03T20:04:18.672-05:00

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.The puzzled blonde kept looking at him, his lap and hisbulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances fromher, he looked down and said, "It's golf balls".Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for avery long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.After several

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-44020240493116691532008-12-03T10:23:00.002-05:002008-12-03T10:35:25.604-05:00

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.“Hello," said the little boy. “Hi," replied the little girl. “Where are you going?" asked the little boy. “I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl. “I'm also on my way home from church. Which

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-36695197505910894312008-12-01T00:14:00.002-05:002008-12-01T00:17:41.673-05:00

(Thanks to Ruthie for sending this one.)We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.''Then, I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-62665084249189423682008-11-27T09:46:00.001-05:002008-11-27T09:47:46.006-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-50730166092427549382008-11-26T13:56:00.003-05:002008-11-26T14:04:33.634-05:00

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.Finally, John was fed up

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-52641802002447443472008-11-25T23:57:00.004-05:002008-11-26T00:05:13.691-05:00

Thanks to Mom and to Penni Henry for sharing this recipe!TURKEY RECIPEHere is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that.When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.8 - 15 lb. turkey1 cup melted butter1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-3647429783653866032008-11-21T09:20:00.009-05:002008-11-21T09:36:08.803-05:00

These three old ladies - Gertrude, Maude & Tillie - and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-73846717624292974792008-11-18T10:13:00.007-05:002008-11-18T10:23:29.580-05:00

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'The boy replied, 'What turkey?'The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'The game warden said, 'Now look, you know

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-80937791118844749372008-11-15T11:02:00.004-05:002008-11-15T11:10:34.994-05:00

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.The second man

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-72801810992197312602008-11-13T10:11:00.008-05:002008-11-13T10:24:12.624-05:00

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.''Me neither, doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'(Thanks to CS for sharing this one.)

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-34968788422541413422008-11-12T14:33:00.003-05:002008-11-12T14:41:24.753-05:00

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married; did you?''Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' (Thanks to CS for this one.)

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-54163015329483895102008-11-08T05:54:00.005-05:002008-11-08T06:14:43.832-05:00

(Thanks to Carroll Smith for sending this one.) An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-5599762631976421192008-11-06T09:51:00.004-05:002008-11-06T10:02:04.454-05:00

(Thanks to Mom for sending this.)A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the fire station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet.. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691388186307958326.post-42503830674687498302008-11-01T16:41:00.004-04:002008-11-01T16:55:58.424-04:00

You Can't Fix Stupid!!! What goes around comes around! Yep, that's our tax dollars at work! Civil War planes? Lemme know how that works out. And you wonder why. 'We had no idea anyone was buried there.' And here I was, sitting with rat poison thinking it was tasty!What are the odds of that? DUH YEAHAnd he did this...how? (Thanks to Sharon Sessler for forwarding this.)

Sherryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06948631272816359901noreply@blogger.com0